If A Hollywood Star is on a Gay Dating Site, Then What Hope Do I Have?

Photo courtesy of tv.yahoo.com

What does B.D. Wong, who plays Dr. George Huang on Law and Order television series and my friend, Brent, an average joe, a marketing executive, have in common?

Brent rants and raves--incessantly. He lives in Dallas, a large metropolitan center with a significant queer population. Yes, the new George Bush backyard, Dallas--the city with pickup trucks galore, shotguns in the back, and traffic mayhem 24/7. I suppose all that orgy of testosterone--let's shoot from the hip first, and think later--is most reassuring for some confused queens and heaven sent for the weekend "cowboys."

Yet Brent, in spite of being in man land, claims that dates are hard to come by. I didn't have the heart to tell him the obvious reason: he is a 49-year old man, going 50, which means all is lost forever, and has six children and an ex-wife, all of whom are in the dark about his true self. Queens can be harsh; they don't like "baggage" or guys with bags in their eyes.

So my poor friend joined match.com, which is quite gay friendly (certainly more friendly than e-harmony.com, which does not even accept gay patrons). I say quite, because, you know how gay men are. They rant and rave if they can't show a lot of skin, and match.com could care less if you are well hung or not.

Brent has been on match.com for months--actually, years. Has he met anyone? Sure. One guy stood him up, another ran for the hills when he found out that Brent has a daughter still living at home, and another, well, he just "lost" Brent's phone number.

Now mind you, Brent is attractive, average built, and dresses well (though he stretches his dollar by shopping at "upscale" thrift stores), enough to cover his small beer belly. And in the gay community, all that window dressing is almighty important.

So what went wrong? Who truly knows. Perhaps it's his age, his children, his closeted identity, anything or all.

So last night Brent calls me and confesses. He searched match.com, and found hundreds of potential matches--in New York City. Why New York when he lives in Dallas? Perhaps Brent plans to make one super leap to that city, not unlike Superman and his feats.

And guess who he ran across? B.D. Wong. Apparently, Wong is breathlessly man-hunting, child tailing behind too. You probably know that Wong is an openly out gay actor, who fathered a child some time ago, and recently split up with his partner.

It is at this point my friend, Brent, wails: "If a Hollywood star is on a gay dating site, then what hope do I have?" Actually, my friend threw in a few expletives, but I shall refrain from repeating them here.

After all the ballyhoo, Brent at least learnt one thing from Wong: take better--more alluring--pictures. Wong has more than ten, showing him in various sweet, innocent--read boring--poses. This is match.com, after all; one can only go so far! And yes, Brent, dump match.com!