Lighting Up, Burning Down: Gays & Smoking

Photo courtesy of http://wearingacapemakesyouasuperhero.blogspot.com/

"It's been over a year since I kicked some smoking butt. I remember having no desire to smoke before I started. I often hung out with people that smoked either at bars or just socializing. I finally accepted their offer to have a drag. One drag turned into half of a cigarette. That single stick turned into several bummed cigarettes a day and eventually a purchased pack. My habit was in full acceleration." This little anecdotal account, and the quote below, come from a longer article on cancers and gay men. It explains why gay men are more susceptible to cancers, the lung one included.

The same article also pinpoints the reason why gay men are more susceptible to lung cancer and other related health problems: "Smoke-filled bars and clubs are common hang outs for some gay men. For this reason, according to the American Cancer Society, gay men are more likely to smoke or be exposed to smoke. A recent gay.com article on gay smoking cites 36 percent of LGBT adults are smokers, compared with 25 percent of all adults. Smoking accelerates the progression of AIDS and increases the risk of lung cancer. HIV also accelerates smoking-induced emphysema." Not only is this an American phenomenon, but in the United Kingdom, an estimated 40 percent of gays smoke (click here for an article).

I see all the time friends at gay bars light up cigarettes without a care in the world. Coupled with the free flowing alcohol (which actually you have to pay for at exorbitant rates), smoking, and cruising seem synonymous with the bar culture. Perhaps for some gays, these behaviors enable them to ignore a difficult reality outside this glitzy fantasy of fashionable, pretty boys; adrenalin rushing music, and materialism galore. Then again, drinking and smoking lowers inhibitions, and allows them to keep on cruising, and cruising.

Ironically, for a gay culture that seemingly is obsessed with sex (I say seemingly, because not all of us are!), smoking actually creates hormonal imbalances that decrease libido. Not to mention smoking also causes yellow teeth, gum disease, and bad breath. And of course, smoking cuts the airflow to the skin, leaving it grey and dull. It is akin to choking you to death, one cigarette at a time.

So now that you know smoking makes you less "sexy," will you stop smoking? After all, we are well past the 1930s, when even doctors are exploited to promote cigarette smoking. Thank god, we are past that now (see the ad below from that decade).

Gay Music: Beyond The Village People

"Nothing against dance or disco. I came out to Thelma Houston's "Don't Leave Me This Way" and its swirling waves of ecstasy still send chills up my spine."

"But there's more to gay culture than just a few pop hits, and you don't have to be an opera queen to think some of it might come from the classical sphere."

The funny, yet insightful, quotes come from an article in a Canadian mainstream newspaper that caught my eyes. It, in gentle humor, plumbs the nature of gay music today. Click here to read the entire article.

For me, gay music is a hard term to define. What constitutes gay music? Is it fast paced rhythms? Is it the incessant beat that keeps pace with the sexual energy of youth? Or is it the slower cadence of classical music that echoes the tragedies of gay life? Is that why gay men become drama queens or divas?

I personally always found classical music uplifting. It reminds me that life is redeemable, that life is full of colors and hues, and not black and white alone. And that life is about shared dreams.

Enjoy the Youtube video of the music of Benjamin Britten, the well-known gay composer. The piece is entitled "Hymn to St. Cecilia no. 3."

The Small Steps of a Long Road to Equality

Just a few days ago, University of Tampa, a private university in Tampa, Florida, finally after a long, hard fought fifteen-year struggle by faculty and students alike granted same-sex partner benefits to its employees. Read here for the full report.

The piece cited the following statistics:
"Other private universities, including Lynn, Nova Southeastern and the University of Miami, offer domestic partner benefits, as do approximately 80 percent of U.S. News & World Report’s top 50 colleges and more than half of Fortune 500 companies, according to the Chronicle of Higher Education." But of course, lots of other schools, public and private, in Florida still have their doors slammed shut to the proposition of domestic partnership benefits.

For me, someone who lives in the Greater Tampa Bay area, it is no surprise that the struggle in this subregion--the fight for true equality--has been long and hard. And sometimes the struggle has been as simple as convincing young minds to just be willing to listen to the voices of a different world.

Colleagues who teach in surrounding colleges often tell me that homophobia is still strong on campuses. I remember as a college teacher myself in this area, facing resistance from students who protested against a short story written by William Faulkner just because the author in passing mentioned that one of his character "liked men." Or take the time my students several years found a Walt Whitman poem, "Calvary Crossing the Ford," supposedly unacceptable because the poet paid homage to the bravado or masculinity of the men. The students' opposition in this case lies, I suspect, Whitman being a homosexual, rather than his elegy to these men's courage. I can also tell you the time when some students complained to the school's dean about a poem by a lesbian writer who wrote passionately of the intersections, and triple oppressions, of race, gender, and sexuality. This was a poem that had to rely on profanity to make its pointed argument. And I could go on and on, but you get the point.

Today, after all what I deem to be unnecessary drama, I am still teaching that short story and poems, and many other so-called controversial writings. I still have the dream, that one day, our fears of the unknown, of the "Other," can somehow be put to rest, and that we will rise to greet the world.

"Gay" Advertisements from the 1930s

I received these images of advertisements from a friend of mine. No doubt, they would not grace our periodicals today. In these ads, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, and sexual language screams at us. All these rhetorical devices are manipulated in the name of making a few more bucks. But whilst such blatant images and language may not appear anymore in our magazines and newspapers, yet more subtle ones still exist. Perhaps certain things never change. That said, have a few laughs!

Repealing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Will Lead to Gay Marriages?

Image courtesy of http://diocuore.blogtownhall.com/2008/08/08/openly_homosexual_marines.thtml

Recently Religious Right organizations and other right-wing groups are making noise that President Obama will not only repeal the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy for the armed services, but also, that any such repeal will be a "back door" to gay marriages. Does that make sense to you? It doesn't to me.

For one thing, as one conservative gay journalist (yes, they do exist!) cum former marine cum former porn star (ok, your head might spin at this point) argues that the rank and file do not care about the "gay issue." It has no bearings on the morale or discipline within the services. Click here to read his arguments, which unfortunately, were forwarded to argue against repealing the existing policy. At least, he and I agree on the supporting premises, if not the conclusion!

Now consider the logic of repealing such a policy leading to the sanctioning and legalizing of gay marriages. Repealing such a policy requires an executive order that the president issues. But legalizing gay marriages requires at least the assent of the jurisprudence, as we have seen in recent years in Connecticut, Massachusetts, and California. And it probably will demand a nationwide law in place such as those in countries as diverse as Spain, Mexico, and Canada that have embraced gay marriage or variations of it. Such a law has to pass in the US Congress.

So how can repealing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" lead to gay marriages? Perhaps the only impact such a repeal can have on the second hot button issue is in galvanizing support for gay marriages. But even then, trends in polling show that Americans are more and more against this military policy but still fairly stable in their opposition to gay marriages. So it is unlikely that Americans will be persuaded to see the ending of this policy as endorsement for gay marriages. I think Americans on the whole can see this military policy as unwise, irrational, and even downright silly but still balk at endorsing gay marriages. For one thing, the current policy undermines our readiness and sends the wrong signal to many of our allies that already accepted gays into the military whereas gay marriage is seen by many Americans as far more muddled since it has been demonized as the antithesis of the Judeo-Christian paradigm of the nuclear family.

Intolerance: It's the Good Word

Do you believe in teaching intolerance to your kids? If so, read this article here about a controversy this week about the "No Name Calling Week" in public schools across the nation from January 26-30.

Apparently, some parents and conservative organizations believe Armageddon has arrived because schools during this week will be teaching certain adolescent books that feature gay characters. They call it propaganda rather than tolerance. they call it filth.

I say to them: Let your children get to know these characters. After all, these are only fictional characters; they don't exist in your version of the real world. Inside your gated community of palatial mansions and BMWs, gays apparently are incognito. And gays will never drop by at your church (well, except those who live in the land of Dorothy). At the same time, go on and teach your kids what you'd like to teach at home, including your own interpretation of the Bible's stance on homosexuality. For God's sake, give your children just a few "tools--your Bible, the credit cards, and a cell phone--to survive in this secular world. Diversity? That is one buzz word that can only mean the varied types of cultures that you safely watch on TV on special holidays. Besides, who needs diversity, when the maid is already brown or black, and the gardener is already brown or black, and the delivery boy is a "Chink."

Awards for Best, Anti-Gay-Friendly TV Shows

The season for Oscar and other similar media nominations (see write-up below) is upon us. Not to be left behind, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation also issued its annual nominations for media awards. Not surprisingly, "Milk" the biopic of Harvey Milk, the slain San Francisco city supervisor, leads the way. Other nominees who entered the roster of honor includes such popular gay-friendly shows as "Desperate Housewives," "Brothers and Sisters," and "Ugly Betty."

But what about recognitions for the worst, anti-gay-friendly shows? What about reality shows like "Rock of Love with Bret Michael" that denigrate women, including bisexual women? Many cable networks have trashy shows that depict gays overly feminized or lesbians as overly manly. For the latter, a case in point is MTV's "A Shot at Love."

Perhaps it is time to recognize these sleazy shows and give them the awards they deserve.

Gay and Lesbian Group Lists Award Nominees

Compiled by DAVE ITZKOFF
Published: January 27, 2009
“Milk,” directed by Gus Van Sant, was among five movies nominated by the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation for outstanding wide-release film in itsannual media awards. The organization, which said its awards seek to recognize “fair, accurate and inclusive representations of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community,” also named “Vicky Cristina Barcelona,” “Brideshead Revisited,” “Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist” and “RocknRolla” in this category. Among TV series, “Brothers & Sisters,” “The L Word,” “South of Nowhere,” “Torchwood” and “True Blood” were nominated for outstanding drama, and “Desperate Housewives,” “Greek,” “Reaper,” “Skins” and “Ugly Betty” were nominated for comedy. Winners are to be honored at events in New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco in the spring.

Source: New York Times, January 27, 2009

"Long Term Relationship" (Film Review)

It has taken me forever to get my hands on this film, originally made for the gay cable channel, Here! Apparently, this is a favorite movie among some Blockbuster customers as it is always checked out. Last night I finally got to watch to it. Long-Term Relationship(97 mins.) is billed as a romantic comedy and for the most part, it does deliver that much and a little more.

Glenn (played by Matthew Montgomery, a so-so attractive guy) has been doing what some 30-something gay men do: "whoring" around, going from one meaningless fling (if you can even call it that) to another. Then, one day, he decides he has had enough of the single scene in Los Angles. How he arrives at this moment of epiphany left me confused as there is little explanation for this turning point. I guess that is the "beauty" of this genre of films--the contrived becomes uncontrived. So Glenn next consults the personals, hoping to find his soul mate.

Glenn soon meets Adam (played by hunky Windham Beacham--is there anything about him a gay man would not like?). who conveniently is a true southern gentleman who has just moved from Atlanta. Glenn falls for Beacham, but then complications arise. Beacham has a secret--one that shocks Glenn and his skeptical friends. The secret is also good for a few laughs. But the next complication seems even more of a greater hurdle and it raises the eternal question--are they compatible with each other?

The movie throws in a very progressive set of parents for Adam that surprises Glenn. In contrast, some of Glenn's friends are distant from Adam, creating some tension along the way. Both Adam and Glenn must navigate these relationships in order to sort out their own budding love affair.

The film overall is sweet, though thankfully not saccharinely so. It has some funny lines, even though others are pretty corny. I would recommend watching this film with a romantic date, though never with a one-nite stand unless you want to undermine the agenda for the evening later on.

The Dilemma of an Ex-Married Gay, Baptist Follower with Six Children

Before anyone thinks this is an imaginative story, let me assure you that I speak from experience--well, sort of. I dated someone who was happily married (perhaps) for the first twenty years of his marriage, having entered into nuptials at the impressionable age of twenty. Along the way, he fathered six children, three girls and three boys. Talk about equations. Then a moment of epiphany developed for him in his early forties. He realized he is gay. And soon divorce arrived.

That was the easy part.

For a newly minted gay man living in New York City that would have been difficult enough. But for a gay man who graduated from Baylor University in Texas (yes, that school), who almost became a Baptist minister, and who went on to raise a family of six, this was hell.

What does a man with a scarring guilt do in this overly "swinging," youth obsessed, still highly single gay community? Do you tell people right away you have six children? Do you tell these twinks and yuppies that nobody knows you are gay? Do you pretend the children do not exist? Or do you just stay at home, alone, every Saturday night and eat popcorn and watch romantic films?

Most gay men tend to run away from such formerly married guys with a train of kids behind them. Did I? No, not initially. But no matter how progressive minded I was, it seems his past haunted our budding relationship. It became a burden. It became shackles.

This was a man unable to throw off the shackles of his internalized homophobia, to the point where no one, save a few platonic girlfriends, knew of his true orientation. Deceit, deception, delusions--these became the raison de'etre of his life. Such is the tragedy of a life mangled by societal demands. And yet it is one that can rise from these demands if he had had the fortitude, the bravado, to see the truth.

After almost ten years of "coming out," does his children and ex-wife know of his true identity? No. And is he a man comfortable in his skin? An emphatic no.

"Gag Rule", Abortion , AIDS, and Gay Men

President Obama's lifting of the "global gag rule" on this past Friday was heralded as a step in the right direction by organizations in the forefront of offering reproductive and family planning services. By lifting this ban on U.S. funding for organizations that provide abortions and any abortion-related services, women in underdeveloped countries no longer have to suffer unwanted pregnancies or worse still, suffer risky abortions performed in medically unacceptable conditions. But what is often less noted is that this gag rule for far too long have also denied local family planning clinics, when they refuse to sign the gag rule, the ability to offer HIV/AIDS prevention education and other related family planning services. In so doing, their critical work, in countries already plagued by poor medical delivery services, on behalf of AIDS patients, which includes bisexual men and gay men, is also impacted adversely. Furthermore, and this has had a devastating impact on contraceptive education, the gag rule effectively prevented non-governmental organization from accessing much needed supplies of condoms and other educational materials needed in the fight against AIDS. All of us should welcome the lifting of this gag rule due its past harsh implications.

Readthis article for more analysis of the impact of this gag rule on women in Third World countries. It makes no direct mention of gay men, however.

Read this article for a quick overview of the fallout from the previous Bush "gag rule."

If you Want to Grade Obama, Here is One Way

For those of you who are obsessed with keeping up with President Obama, well, here is one way of doing it without going crazy. Now, remember the "big" man made 500 promises or so during his presidential campaign. And so if you are a devoted fan, or critic (think Rush Limbaugh follower), you probably desire to know if he is going to keep all these promises, small or large, minor or major. So now courtesy of St Petersburg Times, you can now do so. Click here TEXT for the "Obameter," complete with a scorecard for all the promises kept so far (5), those compromised (1), those broken (none so far), those stalled (1), and those in the works (14). For the GLBT promises, they run from numbers 290 to 294, and so far, none of these have been kept. Dare we hope he will not throw us under the bus like Clinton did? Will he effect real change for the LGBT community? Or he will compromise so as to keep "mainstream America" as his bosom buddy?

Hunting for Your Man on Manhunt

For lots of gay men, cruising hookup or dating sites has become a way of life. It is as trendy as wearing Calvin Klein underwear or as hip as donning Skeecher footwear. After all, come to think of, all three run together--sex, body, and image. No self-respecting gay man would be caught dead garbed in Arrow shirts, and similarly no one would admit that he has never had a profile on at least one such site.

But now researchers argue that popular gay hookup or dating sites such as Manhunt, Adam4Adam, and gay.com, just to name a few, have encouraged gay men to create fraudulent alter egos. They have enabled subscribers to "sell" online pornographic versions of themselves. They promote a form of addiction. And they sanction the creation of a secret life. All that is true.

But what about the benefits of these sites?

For one thing, you save time. Have you ever entered a dimly lit bar or club? Have you ever furtively search for one face, one body, that you are slightly interested in? If so, fear not. Come to one of these sites. Notwithstanding people who post old photos dating back to the age of the dinosaurs, let us just say there is a lot to see, and much more than what you can glean in that bar or club.

Then again, you must consider what these fellow cruisers are looking for. If you are looking for real, and I mean, real dates, complete with conversations, then you must come to these sites. Sure, you will be hard pressed to find what you are looking for, but fear not. If you spend countless of hours, searching page after page of photos and profile texts, eventually you will stumble upon that one fantastic, earth-shattering profile of an angelic man and his pictures that are straight out of a Hollywood studio. So, assuming you haven't lost your job looking for these profiles while at work, you will find your Prince Charming. Never mind if the guy turns out a bit older than what his profile says, or a little chubbier than what the picture leads you to believe, or that his marketing job actually is a telemarketer one.

If you are still not convinced that these sites are worth your time, consider this important factor. The TV world has so many reality shows on these days, so much so that you can be forgiven if you start imagining yourself in one of these shows, including those "find a husband" type. So now imagine yourself online, searching these sites for Mr. Right. What you are doing is no different from being on a reality show. Fact and fiction are entwined now, and life could not be better.